One of the first questions that everyone seems to ask someone with a new baby is "Are you getting any sleep?" They say it with a look of honest sympathy, because most people answer that question with "None!" I have learned to be very modest about my reply to that question. See the thing is Barrett has been sleeping through the night since he was six weeks. When I say sleeping through the night, I don't mean 5-6 hours at a time... we're talking 10-11, and sometimes even 12 hours at time. I know I am lucky, and blessed, and I should be thankful. Barrett's schedule is that he wants to be in bed for the night BY 8:00 pm! Now that it is getting darker earlier, he is trying to go to sleep earlier, like between 6:30 and 7pm. I know better than to tell most other new parents this as well. Most of them say that even though there child is more than twice Barrett's age they are still waking up in the middle of the night, and they look at me like I am bragging or being boastful. I have actually had one sleep deprived parent get frustrated at me during our discussion, and not want to talk anymore. After a couple of conversations I have learned to just say "he is a good sleeper, and I am lucky" and leave it at that.
This is where my Jessica logic comes into play. I have a very big case of mommy guilt. You know, the "I should be spending more time with the baby, I should never let him cry"... and other utterly senseless thoughts that creep into my mind. When this sleeping through the night thing first started, it actually made me sad. You see, I am a night owl. Being up at night is ok with me, and I miss spending that wonderful cuddle time with my sweet angel. Now I have even bigger feelings of regret because he is going to sleep so early. It seems like I barely have time to put my stuff down once I get home from work. It is like I have to speed through feeding and bathing him or else he is falling asleep in his bathtub. It makes me sad. I wish he wanted to stay up later and play, but sadly he doesn't.
So this leads me to the point... Barrett slept in his crib in his own room for the first time last night. Even though he has been sleeping through the night for months, he has still been sleeping in our room, close enough for me to not even have to get out of bed to pick him up in the morning. Key word here is morning, there was no need for him to be an arm's length away from me if he wasn't waking up in the middle of the night. It had been becoming more obvious that it was time to move him into his own room, but I couldn't accept that I couldn't keep him by me anymore. So with a little (ok.. a lot) of prodding from my mom and husband, I did it. I put him down in his own crib, all the way across the house from my room. And how did he do.... perfect... he slept until his normal time in the morning without one protestful cry, or for that matter, without even a whimper. How did I do... well I made up for his lack of tears with my own, but I did make it through the night. Somehow this little baby has brought out a very maladjusted mushball side of myself that I never knew existed. At least when I got done crying to my husband I was able to laugh at myself.